Don’t give up too soon or too late – A to Z Blog Challenge (D) #atozchallenge

Don’t give up too soon or too late – A to Z Blog Challenge (D) #atozchallenge

Part of “Beat your Inner Bully and Find your Confidence” (A-Z #965)
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When speaking of confidence and doing your best, we are always encouraged to try our best and not to give up.

That’s great advice, but sometimes it backfires. If we get ourselves into an uncomfortable situation, it can be a sign to move on. You’re not being a quitter, you’re simply recognizing what you do and do not want to spend your time on.


Can we talk about when it’s time to stick with it, and time to pass it on? I’ll add a few of my ideas here, but I’d love to see where you think the limits are.

Stick With It

  • If it’s necessary
    If you’re doing something you must do – earning money for your family, finishing something you are contractually bound to finish, helping someone in distress – then you need to stick it out even if it gets tough.

    • Be careful not to fall in to the trap that just because you’ve always done it, or your buddies/family has always done it, that makes it “necessary”. Not always so.
  • If it advances your career
    If there’s something you can learn, or participate in, that will have an impact on your career or main hobby, make that commitment. Don’t forget that many “time investments” don’t provide benefits immediately, but you need to think if it will serve you in the long run.
  • If it’s “good” for your health, significantly
    Either you “have” to do this or you’ll get sick, or it gives such a significant benefit that it greatly outweighs the efforts, then it’s time to buckle down.
  • If you love it, but don’t think you can do it
    If it doesn’t directly damage you and your family (you still have enough money to eat, and you still can have quality family moments), don’t throw it away just because you’re new at it.

    • DO NOT make my mistake and get all worked up because (example) “statistics show that only 1% of new authors can land an agent and get published by the big 5” [not an exact quote]. The problem is, “statistics” usually don’t tell you the whole story. For the example I’m using, after I read that quote-ish somewhere about debut authors, I learned that most of the ones that failed didn’t know the very, very basics about writing (neither did I), editing (neither did I), querying (neither did I), or marketing (neither did I). These skills can be learned. You will not learn those skills, however, if you give up because “someone” tells you that you can’t do it: using a blanket statement, without working directly with you. If they do work directly with you and still say that – well – please see my post on constructive criticism.

Give it Up

  • If it’s affecting your mood so bad that your entire health is affected
    We know we have to go to that job we hate (not me!!) but sometimes it’s just time to look for something else. If you’re driving yourself into the hospital, it doesn’t matter how badly you need the money, you need to find another way.
  • If it hurts the ones you love
    Almost identical to the above point, but in reference to you being nasty to your loved ones. It’s not worth it.
  • If you feel significantly out of place
    It’s okay to be the new kid on the block, and it’s okay to be diverse. But if you are being treated poorly because of your diversity or experience level, personally I suggest to get yourself out of that situation. If you then want to fight the good fight and complain about/pursue the unfairness, great – but I think that you sticking around will only make you feel worse.
  • If you have more Important things to do
    Be careful with this one. ‘More important things’ should truly be important. For example, cutting out that nightly TV date with the pro-wrestling show *** so you can tuck your kids in bed and read them a story.

Moving on is NOT Giving Up

If you decide to move on, that does not mean you are weak, a loser, or lazy. Do not be made to feel bad by those that would guilt or pressure you into sticking around by taking a swing at your confidence.

Here’s a tip: if someone tries to guilt you into staying in a truly bad situation by telling you you’re giving up, it’s because they are worried that you will no longer be around to do their job for them.

YOUR TURN

Please, can you share with us what is the golden cue that tells you it’s time to stop putting effort into something, and just to move on?

And please, I have no problems with pro-wrestling shows. I used to watch The Rock, Randy Savage, the Undertaker, and Chyna, thank you very much. Now I follow Dwayne’s movies.

Greeny Wallpapers: John Cena VS The Rock
Greeny Wallpapers: John Cena VS The Rock

Featured Image
Copyright:  stanciuc / 123RF Stock Photo

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12 thoughts on “Don’t give up too soon or too late – A to Z Blog Challenge (D) #atozchallenge

  1. Sunken Cost fallacy is the worst, even when you’re looking out for it. Great list here. I’m with Yolanda: if I’m not having fun or I’d have more fun doing something else I can’t be bothered.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m not a great one for walking away or changing things and tend to be more o a stickler. Don’t take it up in the first place if i don’t think I can follow through.
    However, in our household, learning the violin provides a very good scenario for looking at the whole issue of whether to quit or persevere. My daughter took up the violin around 5 years ago. She initially loved it and had chosen the instrument herself and I could see it lit a spark in her. She was only 5 and her teacher said I could sit in on her lessons. I learned or a year as a child and my brother learned Suzuki violin for many years and was quite good. So, I picked up an old family violin and decided to help her and learn along side her. As you read, I have health problems and disabilities which made learning the violin problematic, which was why I stopped as a child. Couldn’t hold the wretched bow properly. Anyway, we went on holidays for a few weeks and she didn’t practice and when she came back again, she was quite squeaky and hated the noise and then lost her confidence and it wasn’t worth pushing. I ended up finishing the term’s lessons without her and kept going. She had a few stop starts but started at a new school this year where they have a string group and she’s picked it up again…along with the Baritone Horn. She’s doing really well. I am still playing and battling through. Still love it.
    This shows the importance of having a good support crew around you to give you a bit of feedback. We can be our own worst critics and so it’s almost a must to get an unbiased second opinion.
    xx Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OH! You bring up a hugely important point here that I didn’t think of originally, which is encouraging your kids, helping them to know that they have to put in an effort, but not driving them batty. My husband plays Racquetball (quite well, to the point he’s been ‘sponsored’ by professional companies) and when my oldest son was 4 years old and showed an interest, “everyone” said “push him! push him! think of how good he’ll be!” And both my husband and I practically bit their heads off because we didn’t want to turn something enjoyable into a nightmare for my son. Who has since “given up” racquetball, but currently puts a huge effort into learning the Bass (not guitar – the one like the Cello)! OK I know you know what the Bass is, Rowena, but I didn’t at first, so for the benefit of anyone else….. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sue, I really enjoyed reading your comment and found it quite intriguing. My grandmother was a concert pianist and my Mum was her pupil. That was how my parents met. So, you could imagine what it was like for me. Age four I was at my Mum’s grand piano and it was on. It wasn’t my thing and I much prefer the violin but the coordination aspects are difficult. Indeed, I love the sound of the high notes. Apparently, the violin is the closest instrument to the human voice.
        So excited to hear your son is learning Bass. My cousin is a professional cellist and my daughter’s friend’s Dad is professional Bass player living in Poland. How old is he? Say hello to him from us. If you search by violin, there are a few posts.
        Take care xx Rowena

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      2. Myself, I played piano a tiny bit, and played the clarinet (poorly) when I was young. What’s funny is I originally went to college to be an opera singer. No joke.

        Alex is 12 and I’m so proud of the effort he’s making – he clearly enjoys it. Now if I can get his younger brother to like something other than Geometry Dash or Minecraft!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I shouldn’t laugh when I read about your younger son being hooked on Minecraft. My son is 12 and hooked on MInecraft and my daughter is 12 and asking why she’s learning two instruments and he’s learning none. He did write some poetry for school recently and has a gift there so hopefully he’ll cultivate that. He definitely needs to broaden his horizons!
        Wow! How exciting to be an opera singer. My daughter has done quite a lot of singing with her school choir and loves it. I loved singing too but I struggle to sing at times due to my health. The violin has become my voice! xx Rowena

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I think the process of expressing our art, whatever the medium, is a lifelong journey. Forward motion is critical to self respect. A daily practice, I find, keeps me limber and helps me learn the discipline of being a writer without being disciplined in a negative or self-punishing way. It’s important for me to remember that having fun is central to success, even though “fun” is often looked down upon by so-called “serious writers.” I find that among the writers I meet, the ones who consider themselves “serious” are often the ones that end up giving up or not producing new material, because they’re too busy being “serious.” The most prolific writers I’ve known, published and not, are the ones that know how to have fun and play with their work.

    I’ve gotten a lot out of Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way; I use her tools daily. I find they keep me returning to the page and to my other arts, which is what I want to be doing. It’s so easy to put it aside in favor of the daily urgencies, but if we continue to allow those urgencies to distract us, we end up at the end of a year without any production. So for me, it’s all about what’s the next thing I can do, today, for my writing and my art. 🙂

    Returning a visit from the A to Z Challenge; good luck and have fun blogging this month! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My “real” job is a programmer 😉 . And I have noticed that the best programmers and the best jobs I have had is where the people learn to relax and have fun at the same time as doing a good, professional job and taking it seriously. I agree – taking it seriously does not mean not having fun.

      Thanks!

      Like

  4. One of the most significant things that I had to learn is to quit seeking others approval. I would stick with something regardless of how I was being treated, knowing that the people did not want me around and I would seek their approval. I learned to walk away nicely and more than that I learned that everybody doesn’t have to like me for me to be happy. I have to like myself.
    Beautiful post.
    Shalom,
    Patricia @ EverythingMustChange

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, how well said!!! This is exactly what I was trying to get at in my A-Z “B” post about bullies – basically, you need to be comfortable with yourself, and if you are, you don’t care what anyone else says or thinks. 😀

      Like

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