It seems that lately, the only way to raise people up is by putting others down.
It’s no longer okay to be “better” at something. We are now taught that that being “better” (or “worse”) is somehow “wrong,” making us question ourselves. We’re all like little automaton cookies emerging from some cosmic cookie-cutter.
This social attitude undermines our self-confidence.
What do you think about some of these controversial topics:
- Giving everyone a medal in a competition, making no distinction of ranking
- Sliding scales, where grades are adjusted up because “everyone did poorly”
- Affirmative Action (don’t hate me – I only mean in cases where anyone – of any race/origin/etc – is passed over anyone else of any origin due to filling a quota, and not due to qualification)
My point here is that as much as it’s a good thing to encourage everyone, I don’t think everyone encourages in the right way, and I think more and more the way to do so is being misinterpreted. We certainly need to be inclusive and encouraging, and just because you’re not good at something doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. We can overcome.
But I guess that’s exactly my point; if you really work hard at – let’s say – a sport, what the heck is wrong with being better at it than some others? No, I do not mean it’s okay for you to go pick on others or taunt or flaunt how good you are in a hateful manner. But what’s wrong, say, with wearing the gold medal you rightfully earned by your dedication to grueling practice sessions? Is showing the pride of your hard work now to be construed as flaunting yourself over others? You can’t be proud of winning? Okay, if you wore the medal every single day, or held it up in someone’s face, maybe – there are certainly limits to everything. We just have to use common sense.
What message are we sending to our youth when we have to say that everyone is “the same?” We are saying that it’s NOT okay to be better, and thus that has to mean it’s NOT okay to be worse. And as we all know, kids especially do not follow the “everyone wins” motto; instead of trying to force kids to not be a bully, how about we teach those with less talent to be at home with themselves just as they are, less talented and all. And surely they are much more talented in other areas, and that’s okay too. As I said in an earlier post, if you truly are comfortable enough with yourself – good and bad – the words from the bullies have no affect on you (mostly).
My last point is of boys and girls. Let’s be clear here – I’m a girl (woman/mother of two), however I often come across as a chauvinist (against other women). While I certainly hope that my job opportunities will be the same as anyone else with the same qualifications, that doesn’t mean I think I’m the “same” as a man. No, you bet I’m not. Nor should I be treated like a man – because I’m not one. I am way more emotional, for example, than most men I know (at least outwardly, I don’t want to make assumptions here). And here’s the kicker – I’ve been made to feel so guilty that I show my emotions more. Now, sure, I don’t want to break into tears in front of a client, but I have to realize it’s okay to be grumpy or moody or overly happy. But you know what, I’m better at programming than a lot of very smart men I know – and I’m much worse than other men – and both of those sit perfectly fine with me now. They did not used to.
Go ahead, lay it on. Unfortunately I’m bound to have angered someone this time. What are your thoughts?
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