Validation is dangerous
It is useful to have a “frame of reference” upon which to make comparisons. When you’re trying to figure out if that goal is truly within reason, or that new hobby is really worth the effort, sometimes by comparing yourself against others it can give you a sense of where you fit in the food chain. That way you can tell what types of things to focus on learning, how much higher you have left to go, and sometimes, some sense of how long it will take to get there.
One way to see where you fit is to have others in the same hobby/profession give you feedback. However, if all you’re really looking for is praise, that indicates you’re very likely uncomfortable with what you’re trying to do, and you don’t believe in yourself (yet). Now we all go through that – many times up and down, over and over, especially with new things. When it becomes a problem is when all you ever want to do is hear how good you are, and you get really upset if you don’t hear that. At that point, something in the process needs to be re-evaluated.
Credit: Alex Schuler
Vanity: the confidence alter-ego
Love yourself, feel at home with yourself, feel comfortable. That’s a very good thing.
Don’t get to the point where you think you are “all that” and that you can do no wrong. Not only will you push everyone away really quickly, and burn many bridges, but it’s quite volatile. It can all collapse in on you really easily.
Credit: Jen Seriously.
Do you know someone who thinks they are the cat’s meow? Do you think hidden deep down, they might have a confidence problem and are over-compensating?
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